LiveJournal Major Notes: Notification fix, Snowflake cookie avalanche, LJLimerick, holiday vgifts! [Thursday December 10th, 2009 at 2:49pm] news [theljstaff] Tweaks and enhancements As a number of you reported, a service interruption impaired sending and receiving notifications for a couple of days. This was due to an avalanche of snowflake cookies. We've removed the free snowflake cookie and unclogged the pipeline. Timely notifications should resume shortly. Please note that there's a backlog in our queues, so you'll be getting earlier notifications first. For more details, check out this post at lj_maintenance. In anticipation of the new year, we've embarked on a self-improvement kick to boost our backend (pun semi-intended). This will allow us to offer you a holiday promotion in the next few weeks (yes, we're listening and working very hard to make it happen). We sincerely appreciate your continued patience and support. Holiday vgifts are here! We've added some fantastic new vgifts to help you spread holiday cheer. We also hope you'll honor AIDS Awareness Month by purchasing virtual red ribbons. Priced at $2.99, we'll donate 100 percent of gross proceeds to IAVI.org (the International AIDS Vaccine Initiative) to support the development and global distribution of an affordable HIV vaccine. Introducing: LJLimericks We cordially here do invite you To craft a fine limerick. Might you? Each week, a new theme, Then a poll, that's our dream Winner posted on news to delight you! In honor of all the brilliant writers on LiveJournal, we've created a brand new community: ljlimericks! Each week, we'll enter a handful of limericks into a poll (which we'll tuck snugly under an LJ-Cut). The winning poem will be published in the following newsletter. In addition, the author will receive a virtual blue ribbon! If you have the time, come drop us a rhyme. Please keep the "Nantucket" stuff on the downlow, since this is a youth-friendly community. Our first prompt is: Insomnia in winter. Photos of the week We're back with more incredible images from our global photography community. Congratulations to sempre_marseeya, who has been awarded a virtual blue ribbon as the winner of our second lj_photophile poll. We hate to squelch your creativity, but, as a courtesy to other users, please post only one photo at a time and keep the main photo no larger than 350x350 (so images display properly via mobile and on friends pages). You can link to a larger image and/or post photos under a cut. Just so you know, we select photos for the poll blindly, based on user comments and staff feedback. Please continue to vote, comment, and, of course, enjoy. You can check out the week in pictures and view more awesome user content after the jump! ( Read more... ) Curtains Thanks, again, for joining us. Stay warm and safe out there! 315 comments|post comment

- [Friday December 11th, 2009 at 1:49am] taenamogago I don't burn letters anymore. But you do know I'm thinking about you, right? Love, Your son post comment

Notification System [Monday December 7th, 2009 at 1:15pm] lj_maintenance [mhwest] [ mood | grumpy ] **FINAL EDIT Thu Dec 10 02:15:47 UTC 2009** So there is the final update... Over the past day we have processed around 11 million jobs out of the 12 million that were in queue at that time. Please bear in mind that over this past day, more jobs for notifications are also created. So while the queue has been dropping, we are still not fully caught up at this point, due to backlog and new jobs. We have roughly 3 million jobs still pending that involve the notification system in some manner. We had hoped we could have fully cleared the queue in a day, but unfortunately we can't clear it too quickly, since we need the rest of the site to operate normally. From our current perspective on the amount of jobs that are left in queue, and how many it has processed thus far, we believe it will take around another 8 - 12 hours to process everything. And finally some answers to some questions: ( Read More and Get Some Answers... ) 527 comments|post comment

Entry #8 [Monday December 7th, 2009 at 11:25am] taenamogago December 7, 2009. Monday. 4:49pm Dear Alfred, Detective Jeremy Cruz was murdered right in front of our house. There was so much blood, Alfred. There was almost too much. You won’t think that the human head is capable of holding in that much blood. He was shot three times at the back of the head Saturday night. I heard him ring the bell. My mom was on her way out to check who it was, when she heard the three gunshots. I rushed downstairs and I found my dad holding a gun and was commanding my mom to stay inside. He marched outside and I was just a few steps behind him. I saw him first. My dad was too busy looking out for the live ones than the dead one with his brains splattered all over our gate. I don’t know why, but somehow, I knew who it was the moment I saw him lying down there. It was weird. We called the cops. They responded quickly. Took them around 15 minutes to get to our house. You know what’s weird though? They just looked around, took the body and moved out. Some cop asked my dad a few questions, but nothing much about the dead detective. They didn’t even ask us if we knew the dead person or if we knew what he was doing there. They just left. What was he doing in our driveway? Why would anyone want to kill him? I talked more to my dad about it, but he didn’t want to talk at all. He kept quiet like he used to and went straight to his room. Some dad he is. He didn’t even check how I was feeling. When I came back up, there was a message from Maika, checking if we’re still on for coffee on Sunday. I didn’t feel very social at the moment, so I made something up and just went to bed. I thought about writing to you, Alfred, but I just wasn’t feeling it. I wasn’t able to sleep that night. Not one bit. I have a sinking feeling that this is all connected to me. What could it be? Sunday was uneventful as always. I should have written something, but, well, I missed it. Sorry. I researched more about my accident, but again I found nothing. I just slept the whole day. I think I ate dinner, but I can’t be so sure. I didn’t feel good at all. Today, well, today was interesting. It was my first time back to school since my accident. I think there’s something you should know about me, uh, I’m a nobody in school. Nobody talks to me, nobody acknowledges me, nobody does anything with me. Anyway, people we’re looking at me weird when I came to school. At first, I thought it was because of the bandage on my forehead, but it wasn’t. They weren’t looking at me in a bad way, but it didn’t seem like a good way either. They shot curious glances and they weren’t being too discreet about it. This girl I barely even nod to, talked to me in bio class about my injury. She asked me about what happened. I told her I was in a minor crash. She looked concerned. She didn’t look sad, but she looked concerned. I asked her why she was looking at me like that, and she just said something about me being blessed. A few more people asked me about my accident. Word of that day seemed to spread fast. I think every single one of the people in school knew about it and I had no idea how. They kept on telling me that everything was going to be okay and that I shouldn’t worry. I’m not worried, Alfred. What am I supposed to be worried about? I got so sick of the attention everybody gave me. I mean, I don’t even know these people. Bah, weird. Unfortunately, weirdness doesn’t stop there. I dropped by Greenhills before going home. I bought a new cell phone and SIM card. It was a Nokia N97. It’s a pretty fancy phone. I like it. I loaded my SIM card and got a few text messages in. I got 5 new messages. 4 of them were from Globe. The 5th was from someone else. The number can’t be displayed, but the text message read: Remember. I’m assuming it’s the same person who sent me my shirt. I’ve seen this in movies and TV shows a lot, and it’s really irritating. I hate it when this shit happens. Why won’t anyone just please walk up to me and tell me what the hell is going on? This is getting old. - Rick - 5:25pm post comment

Entry #7 [Saturday December 5th, 2009 at 11:29pm] taenamogago December 5, 2009. Saturday. 7:12pm. Dear Alfred, I met someone today. When I asked for a break, I didn’t mean like this, but I guess it’ll do. Your purpose, Alfred, is to document my relations with people. It came in late, 7th entry, wow, but at least something still came, right? I don’t like the number 7. Anyway, her name’s Maika. Cute, huh? You should’ve seen her, she’s gorgeous. We met in the junkshop of all places. She was hanging around my car—well, what’s left of it, probably looking for things to savage. She was surprised to see me standing there looking at her. I must’ve looked creepy because she looked spooked. She apologized for being there and she started to walk off. Well, I can’t have that now, can I? I asked her what she was doing there because she really looked lost. She looked all clean and fragile to be moving about some rusted junkshop. She stopped to talk to me. I got a bit nervous. Nobody stops to talk to me, Alfred. She stopped, walked towards me and then talked. I think I heard her say something about an art project. I wanted to listen to her, because that’s how it goes, right? You listen to girls, and they like you instantly. But I was too busy trying to suppress my heartbeats. We were about five feet apart, but I’m pretty sure she could hear it. I was so nervous, Alfred. This was the first time I’m talking to a strange girl alone for the longest time since uh, that incident. We’re going out for coffee tomorrow. Yes, that’s right. I asked her out and she agreed. I’m really glad I met her. God knows I need this now more than ever. Everything else is still so fucked up. I’m still confused. I told the doctor about the accident. He asked if he could read you, Alfred. I agreed of course. Then he kept on asking me about the time I lost. He asked me questions about it, about what I remember after the crash. But I can’t remember much. I only remember the time: 8:43. I remember people talking. I remember people pulling me out of my seat. But that’s it. That’s all I remember. That didn’t stop the doctor from asking even more questions though. I got irritated. I have lots of questions of my own. I told him that I probably can’t remember because I was unconscious. He said that unconscious people stay in the hospital, not the police station. I told him that they’re equipped to handle medical emergencies. He then asked why I was covered in white cloth inside a random office and not the clinic. I didn’t have an answer to that. He asked me why the people in the station did not recognize me. I had nothing. I told him about that detective though. That detective remembers me. I should go and seek that guy out. My dad cried in the car on our way back home. It was weird. I don’t remember my dad showing any kind of emotion before, but there he was, crying. I was just asking him how they found out about my accident. He didn’t say anything. I kept on asking him about that day. He didn’t say anything. I got angry, I shouted at him. I think I crossed a few lines when I said that I hated him and that he’s a bad father. I was expecting to get hit by his fist or the back of his hand. But he didn’t do anything, he didn’t say anything, he just cried. He cried all the way back home. I apologized, but I don’t think he heard me. When we got home, I saw my mom in the living room with my sisters, taking in hushed tones. My mom greeted my dad and I when we got home, but she was obviously crying. I went up to my room, I was tired and confused and angry and just really scared. What’s happening, Alfred? At least, Maika’s there, right? I mean, she’s not the answer to my questions, but she’s such a welcomed distraction. I don’t know, I guess I ju - 11:29pm post comment

Resistere [Saturday December 5th, 2009 at 7:40pm] heng_buk [ mood | amused ] [ music | Resistere - Duo Dinamico ] Resistire Lyrics Cuando pierda todas las partidas Cuando duerma con la soledad Cuando se me cierren las salidas Y la noche no me deje en paz. Cuando sienta miedo del silencio Cuando cueste mantenerse en pié Cuando se rebelen los recuerdos Y me pongan contra la pared. Resistiré, erguido frente a todo Me volveré de hierro para endurecer la piel Y aunque los vientos de la vida soplen fuerte Soy como el junco que se dobla pero siempre sigue en pié. Resistiré para seguir viviendo Soportaré los golpes y jamas me rendiré Y aunque los sueños se me rompan en pedazos Resistiré, Resistiré... Cuando el mundo pierda toda magia Cuando mi enemigo sea yo Cuando me apuñale la nostalgia Y no reconozca ni mi voz Cuando me amenace la locura Cuando en mi moneda salga cruz Cuando el diablo pase la factura O si alguna vez me faltas tu. Resistiré, erguido frente a todo Me volveré de hierro para endurecer la piel Y aunque los vientos de la vida soplen fuerte soy como el junco que se dobla pero siempre sigue en pié. Resistiré, para seguir viviendo Soportaré los golpes y jamas me rendiré Y aunque los sueños se me rompan en pedazos Resistiré, Resistiré... When I first heard this song it was when I was in Korea and was living in Jeonju and had nothing to do in the afternoon except watch tv and I was lucky that one local network was showing an Argentinian telenovela Resistiré. I enjoyed that drama so much and even the song that still lingers in my head sometimes. Not to mention the tense and irresistible flame and love that is going on between Diego and Julia. A Must see telenovela! And I heard this song again after watching the movie ¡Átame! by Almodovar It was totally unexpected for me when I started watching this movie, I thought it will end in blood and death but the amazing ending of LOVE was surprising. And I just want to emphasize how cute, mysterious and sexy Antonio Banderas in this movie. Mmmmm... YUM!!!! Damn! So HOT !!!! post comment

LiveJournal Major Notes: LiveJournal: The First Decade, AIDS vgift fundraiser, LJ_Photophile poll! [Thursday December 3rd, 2009 at 3:21pm] news [theljstaff] LiveJournal: The First Decade Just in time for holiday shopping, we're thrilled to announce the release of our ten-year anniversary anthology. Published by Blurb.com, the book showcases a decade of extraordinary talent drawn from LiveJournal users around the world. This must-read compilation features stories, memes, photos, comics, editorials, graphic content, and more, including: Excerpts from Oh No They Didn't (a/k/a ohnotheydidnt), the largest community on LiveJournal, covering celebrity gossip, entertainment news, and pop culture A look at post-Katrina New Orleans from the journal of Poppy Z. Brite Gripping narratives, including a poignant reverie on a blind date Photography that spans the globe, ranging from old-fashioned Polaroids to underwater photography Mouthwatering dishes from food_porn What began as a late-night inspiration back in Brad Fitzpatrick's college dorm in 1999 has grown to encompass nearly 25 million users worldwide, with journals and communities covering every conceivable hobby, passion, and topic. To get your copy, please visit the Blurb Bookstore. For updates and entries from book contributors, please join lj_turns10. Tweaks and enhancements You can now ban a user from all of your communities and journals at once. To access this feature, hover over the person's userpic and choose Ban user everywhere from the drop-down menu. Follow LiveJournal on Twitter! Give a little to help a lot! In honor of National AIDS Awareness month, we've added a new charitable vgift. For each red ribbon you purchase for $2.99, we'll donate 100 percent of gross proceeds to IAVI.org (the International AIDS Vaccine Initiative) to support the development and global distribution of an affordable HIV vaccine (we'll cover credit card fees). You can read more about IAVI at lj_cares. While we're on the subject, we raised $740 from our November fundraiser for Love Without Boundaries, which supports emergency healthcare and adoption of Chinese orphans. We thank you for helping us help others. Photos of the week We're back with more incredible pictures from our super-talented LiveJournal photographers. Congratulations to ilya_gorokhov, who is the winner of our very first lj_photophile poll. We hope you'll continue to post, vote, and comment! A gentle request: Please post only one photo at a time and limit size to 350x350 (so images display properly on friends pages). And now, without further ado, get ready to cast your ballot and view more awesome user content after the jump! ( Read more... ) Curtains Thanks, again, for joining us. Stay safe and snug out there! 267 comments|post comment

Entry #6 [Friday December 4th, 2009 at 7:51pm] taenamogago December 4, 2009. Friday. 7:15pm. Dear Alfred, I’m going to start writing the date and time of every entry from now on, just so I don’t get lost again. They released me from the hospital today. As soon as I was out, I asked my dad to drive me to the police station so I can ask some questions. Dad was still not back to his normal self. He still keeps looking at me weird. I gave up asking my family questions. I was going to resort to my friends, but the damned Wi-Fi never got fixed. When we got there, I saw a familiar face. It was that officer who blurted out “junkshop,” while I was asking them about my car. I went up to him and asked about my car, but he looked at me with this dumb expression on his face and said he had no idea what I was talking about. I tried telling him about the night of my accident, but still nothing. He just shook his head and walked towards one of the offices. I didn’t recognize any of the people in the station. I tried looking for the people who interrogated me in the conference room, but I didn’t see any of them. My dad and I asked about the accident Sunday night. There only record they have for Sunday, November 29, was an incident at EDSA that was reported at 8:52pm. That was probably the accident I was in. I kept on asking the people around if they recognized me, but no one did. How can anyone not recognize me? I made such a big scene with all that screaming, all that shouting. Something weird was going on, Alfred. When we were about to leave, this guy who introduced himself as Detective Jeremy Cruz, walked up to me. Apparently, he was one of those people inside the conference room. He asked me about my head. I asked him if he knew what happened to me. He said he had no idea what happened to me because they were called in at around 2:34am on a Tuesday to investigate a murder, not an accident. He said he was just as surprised as everyone else when I started walking around the police station with a bleeding head in something close to nothing. He told me that he had to leave even before they were done with me, so he didn’t know anything that happened after that. If that was a Tuesday, then I did miss a day. I missed Monday. I’m scared, Alfred. I don’t know what happened and what’s happening to me. I remember, it was a Sunday. 8:43pm. I was driving to a party when I crashed head on with another vehicle. My dad must have seen my confused look, he gave me another quick hug, but didn’t say anything. I wonder what happened to the person in the other car I hit? I never got to ask about that because no one else seems to know about it. I looked in the news, but I didn’t get anything. I’ll just keep digging, I guess. I just hope I get a damned break. I’ll let you know when something comes up, Alfred. - Rick - 7:51pm post comment

MogileFS Maintenance [Wednesday December 2nd, 2009 at 12:18pm] lj_maintenance [mhwest] [ mood | dirty ] [ music | Bad Religion - Stranger Than Fiction ] **EDIT Thu Dec 3 23:24:15 UTC 2009 ** Hey Everyone, we are about to run the last alter job that we need to on our database servers. This will effect userpics / scrapbook / vgift images for the next few hours. Have no fear, your images aren't lost, there is just a really intensive process running on the servers which store the information for mogilefs. Thank you for your understanding and all the LJ love... Hey LJers, I just wanted to let you all know that we are going to be performing some mogilefs maintenance over the next few days. We will be upgrading our current version to latest stable as well as changing some db config information to better handle the amount of files we are currently hosting. This shouldn't cause a big impact on site stability, but you may see some minor delays with userpic / scrapbook images appearing or other requests associated with our mogilefs. We would love to not have that happen, but unfortunately with some of the steps we need to take we have to cause a delay with images. I figured this was a better solution than taking down all of LiveJournal because well lets face it, we all need our daily LJ fix ;) Thanks, 131 comments|post comment

Entry #5 [Thursday December 3rd, 2009 at 5:42pm] taenamogago Dear Alfred, This whole ordeal is starting to get into my nerves. The people around me aren’t helping one bit. I seem to have “lost” a day. Uh, I still have no idea what’s going on. I mean, I’ve been writing every day. Let’s try to figure out what happened. When I went home from the police station, that was Monday morning. I believe that was around 7am. When I woke up around 3:30pm, I started writing again, right? I ate dinner, I went to sleep. My parents were still out of the country and they were due back on Wednesday. When I went downstairs to eat, that day when everyone was crying, apparently that was Wednesday. In my mind, it was just Tuesday. Did I just sleep for 36 hours? Did I spend more than a day in the police station? What the hell happened? When I went downstairs that morning, my parents just got home from their trip, and they had no idea I was there. My mom won’t say anything about it. My dad said some things about it, but not much to help me out. He just said that they went straight to the police station first, then the hospital. Why the hospital? I was never in a hospital. I kept on asking dad, but nothing. I’m not getting any answers. He just closes his eyes and shakes his head. It pissed me off a little, and I think I started to shout. But he just gave me a hug again and went out of the room. What the fuck is wrong with everybody? Why won’t anybody tell me anything? Is the accident some big conspiracy that I unfortunately played into? Why should everything be such a great mystery? I don’t like this, I don’t like it one bit. And why am I still in this hospital? This morning, the doctor stuck an IV in me. He told me it was a precaution. For what? I’m fine. I’m normal. Why won’t anybody tell me anything? The package I got earlier was unmarked. No return address, no mailing address. It was a brown envelope. Inside was what seemed like a rag. Half was burnt, and the rest was ripped and really just black with dirt and oil and whoever knows what else. There was a printed note inside. It read: Your shirt. Whoever wrote that had enough time to go out of his way to go buy an envelope, write on a note and drive all the way to the hospital and I don’t even get a name? Seriously, what the fuck. Yep. This shitstorm is really starting to piss me off. Just tell me what the fuck happened already. I can live without the shadow and mystery. - Rick post comment

Entry #4 [Wednesday December 2nd, 2009 at 10:53am] taenamogago Dear Alfred, I’m in the hospital. I didn’t expect things to turn out the way they did. My parents didn’t kill me when they found out about what happened, which was surprising. Usually, when parents find out that you’re fine after a major accident, they’ll go ballistic once they find out how much you cost them. When I went down to eat, my mom was crying and my dad had his arm around her. When my dad saw me, he rushed to my side and he gave me a hug. Not just any normal hug, this is like a “you are my son and you mean the world to me” hug. It was as if he was trying to feel if I was really there. See, my dad’s not really much of a touchy feely guy. I get to shake his hand every so often, but to get a hug? Wow. That’s something. My mom was still sobbing uncontrollably when she came over to give me hugs and kisses. I never saw her cry like that before. I don’t even know how they heard about my accident. I had no idea what the fuss was about. I kept on telling them I was sorry for the car, but they wanted to hear none of it. My dad sat me down the sofa while my mom ran around the house to get me food. I asked them what happened in their business trip. I thought they were depressed about something that happened. I thought maybe we were going bankrupt. Well, they went home a day early, so I don’t know. They didn’t really tell me anything about that. They treated me as if my mom just gave birth to me and they’re both excited that I’m in the world with them. It was a little disturbing, but well, I don’t know. My mom was in the middle of another cry fest when a car pulled up to our gate. The gate was opened noisily, and I think it broke a vase. After a few seconds, my sisters, both dressed in black, ran towards me with teary and bloodshot eyes. I was really worried, Alfred. I have no idea what’s happening. I was concerned. I was freaking out. When the sobbing stopped, they noticed that I was keeping quiet and was just staring at them. My dad asked what was wrong. I was really worried something happened to one of my friends, so I asked them who died. Before anyone could give me an answer, they all started crying again, even dad. Now I was really concerned. Why won’t anybody tell me anything? I told them that I’m going upstairs to rest. My dad told me that he’s taking me to the hospital. I told him that I’m fine, but he kinda set his foot down with this one, so here we are. I just went through a grueling physical. They keep on asking me stuff, and I keep on telling them the same thing. I’m fine. And I am, Alfred. Why won’t anyone believe me? Overall, this day has been really emotional and very stressful. Thing is, I still don’t know what’s happening to me or to anyone for that matter. I looked around for my phone, but then I remembered that it was smashed to bits. Even the SIM card was crushed. This hospital has Wi-Fi, and that’s good news. Bad news is, it’s broken and they won’t have it fixed til later today. I guess I’ll just have to wait. The doctor was right. You’re coming in pretty handy, Alfred. A package just arrived for me. Okay, I guess I’m going. Doctor said I need to rest my eyes. I don’t know what for, but gotta follow orders. Yours, Rick 1 comment|post comment

Beach Test [Monday November 30th, 2009 at 11:50pm] heng_buk [ mood | good ] [ music | Snoop Doggy Dog - Gin and Juice ] You Are Quietly Passionate You like people, but you're careful about who you get close to. Friendship is important to you... so important that you aren't just friends with anyone. You fall in love with ease and confidence. Even if you've had bad experiences in the past, each new love is a reason to start completely over. You are a deep and contemplative person. You are as passionate as everyone else, but your passion is not always apparent. Your sense of humor is goofy and silly. You are good at making almost anyone laugh. The Beach Test Blogthings: If Quizzes Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Take Quizzes post comment

Entry #3 [Tuesday December 1st, 2009 at 4:30pm] taenamogago Dear Alfred, Okay, I lied. Something did happen last night. I was supposed to go to party last night, but I ended up waiting in jail. So, what the hell happened? I’m sure you’re curious, Alfred. It’s Anna’s birthday today. She had a party last night. I like Anna. She’s one of those consistently nice people to me. She invited me to her party and despite not knowing any of her other friends, save for Mae, I still went. I don’t like Mae. She’s a bitch. Anyway, it was Sunday, so I passed through EDSA. Traffic was considerably light, so I just cruised my way to her house. I felt good, you know? I had my favorite shirt on, with my new pants and I just bought some new nice smelling cologne. I had my haircut the other day, and I was feelign real good about it. I was ready for that night. I was doing 80kph in EDSA when I noticed something move in the passenger seat. When I glanced to check it out, I saw a cockroach staring right at me, a fucking cockroach. I wasn’t really sure if it was staring at me or not, I mean, where are their eyes anyway? Is it that thing near the tip? Fuck, I hate cockroaches. They don’t look like insects, they look alien. I couldn’t move at first. I can’t exactly just hit the brakes in the middle of EDSA while doing 80. I didn’t know what to do. Should I swat it away with my hand? What if I squish it? What if I anger it and it flies towards me? Fuck, I hate flying cockroaches. Damned freaks of nature. I was trying to pull over ever so slowly and I tried not to move a muscle. I was almost near a spot where I can stop when it started running towards me. I shit you not, Alfred. It was running towards me. If I didn’t know any better, it seemed as if it was attacking me. I panicked. I looked around for things I can use to kill it with. The only things in reach were coins, CDs and parking tickets. I grabbed the CDs and for some retarded reason, I started throwing them like ninja stars. It was hard to hit such a small (although larger than usual cockroach) target while trying to drive a car. The damned thing was still running towards me while dodging the projectiles. When it reached the edge of the passenger seat… are you ready for this? It jumped towards me. It jumped towards my face. I reacted instinctively. I put my right hand in front of my face and I swatted the thing. I felt my hand connect with something icky and small and uh, scaly. Then after a few seconds, I heard a crunch, and then I felt something sticky and wet. The swiftness and the force of my hand squished the bug against the headrest of the passenger seat. Since that’s mainly soft, the killing blow was ultimately dealt by my open palm. I turned my hand to see the bug squashed to a pulp. Its long antennas were still moving along with a few of its legs, and I think I was imagining things, but I swear the head was trying to move towards me, as if wanting to say something. I was about to bring it near my ear, when I heard another crunch. This time, it was a metallic crunch. I totally forgot I was driving and I just crashed head on with another car. The last thing I saw was my dashboard clock. It read 8:43. When I came to, the first thing I noticed was the noise. Everyone was saying something I can’t seem to understand. Then I felt hands trying to grab some part of me, well, any part. Then I felt a great sudden pull. Then I blacked out again. When I awoke once more, this time, I felt pain. I raised my hand to my head and rubbed the area. I continued to rub until I felt something wet. It was my blood. That’s also the time I realized that a white sheet was covering my whole body, even up to my head. I was out of my clothes, and into a weird surgery gown. With great effort, I wrestled my way out of the cloth. I looked around and it didn’t look like I was in a hospital room. It was an office with a bed awkwardly slammed I the middle of it. Then I screamed. I kept on screaming, Alfred. I think it was panic, I think it was confusion, I think it was the pain. I screamed. I’ve never screamed like that in my life. I almost didn’t recognize myself. The door swung open and a shocked policeman in uniform told me to stop. He led me to what seemed like a conference room. Some people were already waiting for me there. They had folders in their hands with pictures of a wrecked car. They looked surprised, no, bewildered. It was as if seeing a human being for the first time. When they finally gathered themselves, they asked basic information. My name, age, address, parent’s name, and all that. I asked them what happened, the just looked weird at each other but didn’t say anything about my accident. They informed me that I was in a police station. My injuries were severe and the nearest hospital was pretty far from where the accident happened. The police station was equipped to deal with medical emergencies, so I was rushed there instead. I wonder what they were talking about. Apart from that gash in my head, I was completely fine. There was nothing severe about it. I told them that I was going home. I asked for my stuff. They told me that I can’t go, that I need to be detained for more questions. I asked them what for, they said that it they just had to. I threatened them with a horde of lawyers I didn’t know and media expose I had no access to. I must have sounded convincing, because after taking amongst themselves for a few minutes, they decided to let me go. I asked for my stuff. Again they talked in hushed tones. After twenty minutes or so, I got a ziplock bag, in it was a crushed cell phone, an empty wallet and a key. I had no idea how that cell phone was wrecked. It didn’t just look broken, it looked as if it was dropped hard to the ground and it was pounded over and over again. My wallet was empty, save for a couple of useless cards. This was expected. The key, I didn’t recognize. I don’t carry any keys around, save for my car keys. I took it anyway. I asked for my clothes. They shook their heads. Again, they whispered to themselves. After a few minutes, a new shirt and basketball shorts was handed to me. I have no idea what’s happening or what they’re up to, but I have this very suspicious feeling. I’m not one to be paranoid, but this is too weird. They were looking at me like I don’t belong there and that they’re afraid of me, yet they have this look of curiosity and a bit of fascination in their eyes. I didn’t know what to make of it. I just wanted to project a strong person, and I was sticking to my character. If any one of them knew that i was totally scared and confused at that moment, they’d probably take advantage of that. I asked them where my car was. The other policeman said junkshop. Everybody shot him a dirty look which took him and me by surprise. Now what the hell was that about? I proceeded by asking more questions about my car, but nobody in there said anything. They keep on telling me that I shouldn’t worry about it and I should be glad I was alive. They gave me 200 Pesos so I can get a cab ride home. Well, this will take one hell of an explanation. I’ll go back to that police station tomorrow to ask about it more. I just want to go back home and crash. That was quite some night, eh Alfred? I’m still feeling confused and dazed and troubled by last night’s events. I mean, damn. That cockroach tried to kill me. I’m alive, sure. But I still have this weak feeling that he succeeded. Oh, I should give Anna a call, maybe tell her about what happened. She might feel sorry for me and might just kiss my boo boos away. Heh. That’s wishful thinking for you. Well Alfred, that’s enough for now. Tomorrow’s another day, yeah? Yours, Rick 6 comments|post comment

Entry #2 [Tuesday December 1st, 2009 at 7:06am] taenamogago Dear Alfred, I don’t really have anything to tell you. But the doctor said I should at least try to put something everyday. Yours, Rick post comment

Entry #1 [Sunday November 29th, 2009 at 5:52am] taenamogago Dear Diary, I don’t know what to write. This was the doctor’s idea. He told me that I need a healthy outlet for my emotions. I told them I was going to cooperate since that incident, so I have much of a choice in the matter. I know I haven’t really kept my word in the past, but that’s what I’m off to change. You’re going to help me, Diary. I stared at the monitor for 20 minutes, reading the previous paragraph over and over again. I don’t know what to write. I have no clue. Dr. Valencia said that if ever I hit a wall, I should introduce myself to you, but that’s lame. I’m sure the good doctor has been asking his patients, uh, clients to write in journals for years now. I’m sure a good majority of those people don’t know what to write either. I’m sure he told them to introduce themselves to you. I just don’t want to be a part of that statistic. Uh, I was with Greg today. We had lunch. He’s having problems with his girlfriend. Greg is a great friend, but I really hate listening to other people’s problems. It’s not that I don’t care, I do. Everybody cares, even just a little. How can you not, right? We are human after all. Well, you’re not human, diary. Does that mean you don’t care? “Do not fear change, Rick. It’s a sign of progress, and that’s why we’re here. We’re here because you want to change, because you are no longer functional in the place you’re in.” Welcome it, he says. Embrace it, he says. I keep on telling the doctor that I don’t have a problem with change. I don’t think he believes me. But you believe me, right Diary? I realized that I don’t like writing or saying the word Diary in my head. Do you want a new name? I’m going to take your silence as a yes. Alfred. I’m going to call you Alfred. 3 comments|post comment

29 is the new number !!!! [Saturday November 28th, 2009 at 12:40am] heng_buk [ mood | happy ] [ music | Cumpleaños Feliz!!! ] Hello everyone !!! I cannot believe it.. I just feel so Thankful and Happy..I almost cried but I am glad I did not. hehehe !!!! Thank you to my family and for the birthday greetings from my friends here and around the world !!! And most of all from mis compañeros en Instituto Cervantes.. Thank you for sharing this special day with me !!! THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!! GRACIAS !!!! KAM SA HAM NIDA !!! post comment

Because I have nowhere else to turn to. [Friday November 27th, 2009 at 8:38pm] deranged_queen [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | The DJs talking too much. ] I'm tired of putting up Reluctant Walls. Of trying to subtly tell you how I feel through Facebook or YM status posts, of being witty and sweet with my texts with the mandatory smileys. Or of looking at you whenever we talk, my eyes trying to beg you to understand, to reciprocate. The plain truth is that I like you, and I hope whatever the fuck you're doing to me is a sign that you like me, too. And not just a way of you taking care of your boredom. 2 comments|post comment

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